One Year!

It's been one year since I moved to Sydney!  It feels a bit unbelievable.  In one way, it seems like I've been here much longer than one year, but in another, it feels like I just came yesterday; I can still see my old apartment, still remember sitting on the couch, drinking wine at night, chatting with Phil online :)

Anyway, a lot has happened since my last update.  The biggest thing of all is that I'm engaged!  I'm sure everyone knows by now- our Facebook post about it received the most comments and likes of anything I've ever posted, haha.  It still feels a bit surreal...sometimes I look down at my ring and think, "Am I really engaged?!"  I think it's one of those situations where you've spent so much time dreaming about something, that when it actually happens, it still just feels like one of your many fantasies.  Or maybe that's just me.  And possibly JD from Scrubs (sorry, I've been watching a lot of Scrubs lately)...

My beautiful engagement ring!

Phil proposed to me on the Harbour Bridge in Sydney, on his birthday.  We were already planning to go to the city for his birthday, and we were going to walk across the bridge as we did the night I first arrived in Sydney.  As soon as we got to the bridge, though, it was pouring rain.  We decided to still walk across, despite not having umbrellas or raincoats.  As we were walking, I noticed Phil seemed a bit weird- like overly excited- and he kept talking about how it had been almost a year of me living in Sydney and how happy it's made him.  We got about halfway across the bridge and Phil stopped me, got down on one knee and proposed!  I was totally caught off guard by it and started crying (of course!) and said yes :)  With the rain and being on the bridge (with the Opera House behind us, no less!) it was a totally romantic moment.  Then, as we continued our walk across the bridge, we got to see a beautiful double rainbow over the Opera House.  What a perfect moment!

Besides getting engaged (though what could possibly compete with that?!), the past few months since my last update have been pretty eventful.  I started and then quit a new job at a frozen yogurt place, called Yogurtland.  I was really excited when I got hired, as I was able to start there only a few weeks after having to leave Harvey Norman, but in the end, I didn't get enough shifts (they overstaffed the location, so no one was getting many shifts) and it hardly seemed worth it.  The good news is that Phil and I put in my application for a permanent Visa, so my work restrictions will be lifted starting tomorrow and I can go back to working at Harvey Norman.  I'm very excited about that- not only do I like working there, but I'll also have more shifts and be making money again :)

Putting in our Visa was a big step and I'm glad we got it done.  I'd been researching how to go about putting together the application for months, and in the end, the whole thing was probably a hundred pages long!  A lot of work went into it- we had to write statements about our relationship, ask family and friends here to write ones too, and show other proof that we've been in a genuine relationship.  Phil and I did a lot of hard work together, so it was such a relief to pay the fee and turn it in. Now we have anywhere from a 13 to 18 month wait before we get approved (which I'm sure we will), but as I mentioned above, I can work without restrictions now and I also have medicare :)

Phil and I have gone on a few little trips as well.  We went to Manly, a small beach town in Sydney, for a weekend.  We stayed at the cutest little cottage apartment while we were there and walked down to the

On our way to Manly! :)

beach in the morning to see the sunrise- it was such a relaxing, romantic weekend.  We also went to Hunter Valley for wine tasting on my birthday!  Hunter Valley is in the outback and has a lot of different wineries (it's a lot like Napa Valley in California), so we got to check out a few of them on the tour we went on.  I even saw my first wild kangaroos!  I didn't get to pet any (the tour guide said it was too dangerous!), but I got to see lots of them, so I was still excited.  I was starting to think I'd never see a kangaroo outside of the zoo ;)

Of course, since tomorrow is my one year anniversary of moving, I'm thinking a lot about the past year and what this move has meant for my life. Honestly, moving to Sydney has been one of the hardest things I've ever done.  Not because it's been terrible or I've failed miserably at it, but because it's challenged me in ways I never imagined it would.  I've relocated enough in my life to know the gist of it, but I was in no way prepared for how hard it would be to move to a new country. Maybe I was a bit naive prior to moving (okay, I definitely was), but I had no idea how hard it would be to be in a new environment, away from nearly everyone I've ever known, and having to figure out a new life for myself.

When I first moved, it seemed like all I could do was look back at the things I left behind.  I missed my friends and family, of course, but I missed all the other aspects of my life as well.  I thought the things I had in Reno defined me: my friends, my job, my car, my apartment, my freedom, even the responsibility of caring for my mom.  When I stripped all those things away and came to Sydney, I felt like I lost who I was.  If I wasn't the Brittany who hung out with her friends every day, who was I?  If I wasn't the Brittany who had a silver Taurus, worked six days a week at In-N-Out, spent her days off taking her mom to the store and spending time with her, and then came home to her apartment, then what Brittany was I?  It was a life-altering, earth-shattering couple of months where I really tried to figure out who I am without all of those things.

I'm still figuring out the answer, if I'm being honest.  But I'm not held down by it like I was before.  I've realized those things don't "make" me.  Sure, having friends, or a full-time job, or responsibility for someone else did add a purpose to my life, I suppose, but all those things alone have nothing to do with my personality and they don't define me.  What defines me is the kind of person I am.  And I think moving, and being away from all the things I thought defined me have helped me really define myself.

I am strong.  No one could be in my situation and make it through the way I have without being strong.  I'm brave.  I faced the unknown and approached it with open arms.  I've always known I'm outgoing and sociable, but I'm also quiet, shy and reserved (and that's okay, too).  I'm introspective and thoughtful.  Sometimes I'm pessimistic, it's true.  But I'm also extremely forgiving.  I'm loving, caring and compassionate: things I already knew, but I feel this experience has magnified them.

I have discovered new hobbies (and rediscovered some old ones) that I never found the time for when my life was busier in Reno.  I've rediscovered my love of reading, which I hadn't really enjoyed since before I was a teenager.  I've realized that I love cooking and I have a natural talent for it!  I've been writing a lot more, too- something I've always enjoyed but have definitely put to the wayside for the past few years.  I realized when I moved here, that all my "hobbies" involved other people, and so being away from the constant distraction of other people has helped me to find things I enjoy doing alone, which has actually been great.  There was literally a time in my life when the thought of going to dinner or a movie by myself was terrifying.  I've done it numerous times since I've moved, without even a second thought.  I'm unafraid of being alone; I'd even go as far as saying I enjoy it now.

I've been really hard on myself about making friends and automatically making the same life for myself here that I had in Reno.   I think it was a bit unrealistic to expect that I'd move to Sydney and within a year have a brand new group of friends, a perfect job, a fantastic apartment and a car.  I think I'm more realistic about it now: I lived in Reno for 8 years and it wasn't really until the last year or two of living there that I had those things.  It might take time to get to where I want to be here.  But I'll get there.

At a birthday party a few weeks ago with Phil's family :)

Still, I've accomplished plenty of other things since moving.  I adjusting to living in a new place, for starters.  I found a job and made such a good impression there that both of my managers are excited for me to come back.  I made friendships and bonds with Phil's family members.  I've grown closer to Phil's son, Lucas, and have helped Phil parent him as well.  I've grown in my relationship with Phil and I've proven to myself that I can actually be in a relationship for longer than a  few months (haha). I'm excited for what the future will hold from here on out as well.

I'm excited to be marrying and spending my life with a man I love and who loves me more than I feel I even deserve sometimes.  I'm excited for us to start a family of our own someday. I'm looking forward to finding more things I enjoy doing, to meeting new people and making new friendships.  Moving to Sydney has opened up so many opportunities and possibilities for me and it really feels like anything is possible now.  What an amazing feeling! All of the hard things were worth it, and I can't wait to continue living the life I've always dreamed of.