One Year!

It's been one year since I moved to Sydney!  It feels a bit unbelievable.  In one way, it seems like I've been here much longer than one year, but in another, it feels like I just came yesterday; I can still see my old apartment, still remember sitting on the couch, drinking wine at night, chatting with Phil online :)

Anyway, a lot has happened since my last update.  The biggest thing of all is that I'm engaged!  I'm sure everyone knows by now- our Facebook post about it received the most comments and likes of anything I've ever posted, haha.  It still feels a bit surreal...sometimes I look down at my ring and think, "Am I really engaged?!"  I think it's one of those situations where you've spent so much time dreaming about something, that when it actually happens, it still just feels like one of your many fantasies.  Or maybe that's just me.  And possibly JD from Scrubs (sorry, I've been watching a lot of Scrubs lately)...

My beautiful engagement ring!

Phil proposed to me on the Harbour Bridge in Sydney, on his birthday.  We were already planning to go to the city for his birthday, and we were going to walk across the bridge as we did the night I first arrived in Sydney.  As soon as we got to the bridge, though, it was pouring rain.  We decided to still walk across, despite not having umbrellas or raincoats.  As we were walking, I noticed Phil seemed a bit weird- like overly excited- and he kept talking about how it had been almost a year of me living in Sydney and how happy it's made him.  We got about halfway across the bridge and Phil stopped me, got down on one knee and proposed!  I was totally caught off guard by it and started crying (of course!) and said yes :)  With the rain and being on the bridge (with the Opera House behind us, no less!) it was a totally romantic moment.  Then, as we continued our walk across the bridge, we got to see a beautiful double rainbow over the Opera House.  What a perfect moment!

Besides getting engaged (though what could possibly compete with that?!), the past few months since my last update have been pretty eventful.  I started and then quit a new job at a frozen yogurt place, called Yogurtland.  I was really excited when I got hired, as I was able to start there only a few weeks after having to leave Harvey Norman, but in the end, I didn't get enough shifts (they overstaffed the location, so no one was getting many shifts) and it hardly seemed worth it.  The good news is that Phil and I put in my application for a permanent Visa, so my work restrictions will be lifted starting tomorrow and I can go back to working at Harvey Norman.  I'm very excited about that- not only do I like working there, but I'll also have more shifts and be making money again :)

Putting in our Visa was a big step and I'm glad we got it done.  I'd been researching how to go about putting together the application for months, and in the end, the whole thing was probably a hundred pages long!  A lot of work went into it- we had to write statements about our relationship, ask family and friends here to write ones too, and show other proof that we've been in a genuine relationship.  Phil and I did a lot of hard work together, so it was such a relief to pay the fee and turn it in. Now we have anywhere from a 13 to 18 month wait before we get approved (which I'm sure we will), but as I mentioned above, I can work without restrictions now and I also have medicare :)

Phil and I have gone on a few little trips as well.  We went to Manly, a small beach town in Sydney, for a weekend.  We stayed at the cutest little cottage apartment while we were there and walked down to the

On our way to Manly! :)

beach in the morning to see the sunrise- it was such a relaxing, romantic weekend.  We also went to Hunter Valley for wine tasting on my birthday!  Hunter Valley is in the outback and has a lot of different wineries (it's a lot like Napa Valley in California), so we got to check out a few of them on the tour we went on.  I even saw my first wild kangaroos!  I didn't get to pet any (the tour guide said it was too dangerous!), but I got to see lots of them, so I was still excited.  I was starting to think I'd never see a kangaroo outside of the zoo ;)

Of course, since tomorrow is my one year anniversary of moving, I'm thinking a lot about the past year and what this move has meant for my life. Honestly, moving to Sydney has been one of the hardest things I've ever done.  Not because it's been terrible or I've failed miserably at it, but because it's challenged me in ways I never imagined it would.  I've relocated enough in my life to know the gist of it, but I was in no way prepared for how hard it would be to move to a new country. Maybe I was a bit naive prior to moving (okay, I definitely was), but I had no idea how hard it would be to be in a new environment, away from nearly everyone I've ever known, and having to figure out a new life for myself.

When I first moved, it seemed like all I could do was look back at the things I left behind.  I missed my friends and family, of course, but I missed all the other aspects of my life as well.  I thought the things I had in Reno defined me: my friends, my job, my car, my apartment, my freedom, even the responsibility of caring for my mom.  When I stripped all those things away and came to Sydney, I felt like I lost who I was.  If I wasn't the Brittany who hung out with her friends every day, who was I?  If I wasn't the Brittany who had a silver Taurus, worked six days a week at In-N-Out, spent her days off taking her mom to the store and spending time with her, and then came home to her apartment, then what Brittany was I?  It was a life-altering, earth-shattering couple of months where I really tried to figure out who I am without all of those things.

I'm still figuring out the answer, if I'm being honest.  But I'm not held down by it like I was before.  I've realized those things don't "make" me.  Sure, having friends, or a full-time job, or responsibility for someone else did add a purpose to my life, I suppose, but all those things alone have nothing to do with my personality and they don't define me.  What defines me is the kind of person I am.  And I think moving, and being away from all the things I thought defined me have helped me really define myself.

I am strong.  No one could be in my situation and make it through the way I have without being strong.  I'm brave.  I faced the unknown and approached it with open arms.  I've always known I'm outgoing and sociable, but I'm also quiet, shy and reserved (and that's okay, too).  I'm introspective and thoughtful.  Sometimes I'm pessimistic, it's true.  But I'm also extremely forgiving.  I'm loving, caring and compassionate: things I already knew, but I feel this experience has magnified them.

I have discovered new hobbies (and rediscovered some old ones) that I never found the time for when my life was busier in Reno.  I've rediscovered my love of reading, which I hadn't really enjoyed since before I was a teenager.  I've realized that I love cooking and I have a natural talent for it!  I've been writing a lot more, too- something I've always enjoyed but have definitely put to the wayside for the past few years.  I realized when I moved here, that all my "hobbies" involved other people, and so being away from the constant distraction of other people has helped me to find things I enjoy doing alone, which has actually been great.  There was literally a time in my life when the thought of going to dinner or a movie by myself was terrifying.  I've done it numerous times since I've moved, without even a second thought.  I'm unafraid of being alone; I'd even go as far as saying I enjoy it now.

I've been really hard on myself about making friends and automatically making the same life for myself here that I had in Reno.   I think it was a bit unrealistic to expect that I'd move to Sydney and within a year have a brand new group of friends, a perfect job, a fantastic apartment and a car.  I think I'm more realistic about it now: I lived in Reno for 8 years and it wasn't really until the last year or two of living there that I had those things.  It might take time to get to where I want to be here.  But I'll get there.

At a birthday party a few weeks ago with Phil's family :)

Still, I've accomplished plenty of other things since moving.  I adjusting to living in a new place, for starters.  I found a job and made such a good impression there that both of my managers are excited for me to come back.  I made friendships and bonds with Phil's family members.  I've grown closer to Phil's son, Lucas, and have helped Phil parent him as well.  I've grown in my relationship with Phil and I've proven to myself that I can actually be in a relationship for longer than a  few months (haha). I'm excited for what the future will hold from here on out as well.

I'm excited to be marrying and spending my life with a man I love and who loves me more than I feel I even deserve sometimes.  I'm excited for us to start a family of our own someday. I'm looking forward to finding more things I enjoy doing, to meeting new people and making new friendships.  Moving to Sydney has opened up so many opportunities and possibilities for me and it really feels like anything is possible now.  What an amazing feeling! All of the hard things were worth it, and I can't wait to continue living the life I've always dreamed of.

A Time For Spring, A Time For Fall, But Best Of All: A Time For Love...

The seasons are changing here in Australia.  I’m sure they’re starting to change in the States too, but while you’re all going into spring, we’re heading into Fall here.  It’s weird to go to work and come home when it’s still dark outside.  And even though I know it’s nowhere near as cold as it would be in Reno, the chilly weather is starting to remind me that Winter is almost here.  I’m actually very happy about that...I basically had two back to back summers because of when I moved.  I’m ready for a new season.  Though, not entirely excited about now having my birthday at the start of winter, instead of summer...

Things have been good here, overall.  Since I last posted, not a lot has happened, though Phil and I spent a weekend away at Bondi Beach, which was really fun!  We went to the beach during Australia Day.  I guess Australia Day is kinda like the 4th of July in the States.  I didn’t see any fireworks like we have, but there were a lot of people wearing flag shirts and hats, and that night I overheard a ton of drunk people shouting out “‘Stralia!” in the streets, so that seemed pretty similar.

Phil and I got a hotel near the beach and spent the night there, so we didn’t have to worry about commuting home after spending the day in the water.  Bondi Beach is really beautiful- the water is so blue and gorgeous.  I hadn’t been to the actual ocean in years, so I forgot how salty sea water was.  I tried not to swallow too much of it, though, so don’t worry ;)  Phil got a nice sunburn on his back, and I even got a mild one on my shoulders and chest, too.  It was worth it, though.  We had a really great weekend.  It’s nice to have a little getaway like that once in awhile- I’m glad we’ve been able to fit them in since I’ve moved.

Phil and I, hanging out (and getting burned) at Bondi Beach :)

Work has been going well...I’ve been getting some extra hours here and there, which have helped me save more money for my Visa.  I’ve done some fun stuff with my extra money too- I bought a new laptop, finally!  I’m saving some money now for my birthday in June- Phil and I have tentative plans to go away for a few days, maybe up to the Gold Coast.  I’d love to be able to see the Great Barrier Reef, and maybe even go snorkeling.  Phil (and Lucas’) birthday is the month after mine, so I’m trying to save some cash for that as well.

It’s almost been six months since I’ve started working at Harvey Norman, which means my Visa is going to force me to move onto another job.  I’m not so thrilled about that.  If you remember from one of my previous posts,  my job hunting experience was pretty awful, so I’m nervous about having to do it again.  My bosses at work have both been so supportive, though- even trying to figure out ways to just transfer me to another division of our store so I can just stay on, but I’m not sure it’ll work.  I don’t want to leave Harvey Norman- not just because I’m going to hate job hunting again, but also because I genuinely like my job, and the location, and my managers and co workers, and I’ll miss being able to work with Phil.  At the very least, I suppose I can go back there (my boss, Mat, definitely said he wants me to come back) after my Visa restrictions are lifted, so I do have that option.  

Hopefully, this time around, the job hunt will be a bit easier.  My Visa restrictions might still work against me, but at least I’ll have an Australian job reference and I can get my managers to give me a reference if I need one.  Plus, now I have more retail experience, so I might actually get a call back when applying for those jobs.  I won’t have to officially leave until the middle of May, so I’m trying to pace myself by applying for one or two jobs a day until I get something- that way I hopefully won’t get overwhelmed like I did last time.

The other aspects of my life have been pretty much the same as the last time I updated.  Still haven't made much progress as far as making friends go, but as one of my best friends in Reno, Annie, pointed out, it takes time to make good friends, so I’ve learned to be more patient about it.  I’ve stumbled in and out of being depressed, particularly after the new year, but I feel better again, mostly because I’ve discovered more ways to fill my time other than lamenting on the fact that my family is far away or that I miss my friends.

I’ve been writing a lot more (not here, obviously...sorry about that)- doing music reviews and book reviews, and it feels really good.  I even have a story idea that I’m working on.  I’ve still been reading tons.  I’ve even started going out to the city on my own on Thursdays...taking myself out on a little self-date of sorts and just enjoying Sydney and what it has to offer.

One of the things customers always ask me (besides where my “accent” is from), is if I love living in Sydney.  I always find a roundabout way of saying that I miss home, but I love living in Sydney too.  Really, I don’t love living in Sydney.  Maybe it’s just my attitude.  I’m sure Sydney is a great city, but most of my existence here has just been about missing what I left behind.  Well, that’s definitely my perspective, isn’t it?  I recently promised Phil that I’d try harder at giving this a better chance- living in Sydney, starting a new life, etc.  I’ve been so down about missing people and stuff, that I’ve forgotten that I moved here for a reason.

Sometimes, when Phil and I are doing something together, I mentally stop myself and remind myself of how much I’ve always wanted exactly what we have.  I’ve yearned for the love that Phil consistently gives me my entire life. And more recently than that, I spent all the time we were apart, futilely hoping for the day that we’d be together.  And now we finally are.  Our time together here has shown me how incredibly lucky we are to have each other.  That, alone, should make me love Sydney.  

I'm feeling good! :)

But there are other things that I should appreciate about moving.  My life in Reno was becoming so terribly dull and stagnant; I was sitting on the sidelines, watching everyone else do things I wanted to do: get married, settle down, get a new job, graduate from college.  I moved to have the chance to start over and do those things in my own life.  And now I have all the change in the world and it’s still been hard to appreciate it.

Not anymore, though.  It takes perspective to see where you’re going wrong in life, or where you can change things and I think I’ve finally gained some now.  I still don’t know exactly what my life is going to look like now that I’ve moved, but what it looks like right now isn’t bad.  It’s the little things I enjoy- spending time with Phil and starting a life together, getting to have Lucas with us during some weekends, not having to work so hard and pay all my bills alone, having extra free time to enjoy my own hobbies, being able to write when I want to, living in one of the biggest cities in the world, still being able to chat with my friends/family back home on a semi-regular basis...simply being alive.  There are so many things I can appreciate about my life, right now, as is.  I fully intend on doing so.

Happy New Year! :)

Happy New Year, everyone!  I hope that the beginning of 2013 has treated you all well.  At the very least, take solace in the fact that the Mayan calender meant nothing and we're still alive ;)

At the Royal Botanic Gardens, which overlook the harbour.

The last few weeks of December were pretty fun for me!  Maybe a few days after my last post, Phil had an early day at work, so we went into the city and to the Royal Botanic Garden.  The gardens were really lovely and there were a lot of great places to take pictures :)  Phil and I realized while we were there that we've now been to two out of the three botanical gardens in Sydney (we went to Mount Annan Botanic Garden for a picnic with his family a few months ago), and made it our goal to go to the last one as well.

We had a really great day there, though.  We ate lunch on the grass and enjoyed the nature, even though all we had to do was turn around to see the big skyscrapers of the city behind us.  While we walked around, Phil grabbed a few of the flowers I liked the most and put them in my hair...which we probably weren't allowed to do, but it was sweet anyway ;)

About a week later, it was time for Christmas!  My first Australian Christmas was quite fun :)  Obviously, Phil and I both had the day off work, so we got up early and opened Christmas presents.   Phil bought me a portable speaker to plug into my iPod, Coldplay's new live album/DVD, the movie "Elf" (because I thought I'd brought it with me to Australia, but couldn't find it a few days before Christmas), and a jigsaw puzzle that we're going to start putting together soon :)  I bought him two CDs that he asked for, the movie "Get Him To The Greek", and a present I was most proud of: an apron that says, 'King of the Kitchen' on the front of it.

Phil, in his sexy new apron!

I bought Phil the apron because since I've been here, I've been teaching him how to cook :)  When we first started, he literally didn't know how to turn the burner on (oi vey!), but every Sunday night, I started teaching him how to make simple recipes.  After a couple of lessons, I turned the cooking over to Phil, and now on Sunday nights while I'm at work, he makes dinner!  He's mastered a few recipes now, including mince casserole, chicken casserole, and spaghetti bolognese.  I'm quite proud of him, though I knew he could cook if he tried.  I've been trying to encourage Phil to try new things (because you're never too old to learn something new, and there's always plenty of new things and experiences to try!), and cooking was one that he's definitely done well at.  So I wanted to give him something special to really boost his self-esteem in his cooking, and the apron seemed perfect :)

After we exchanged presents, Lucas got dropped off, and the three of us and Phil's mum went over to his family's for Christmas dinner.   Dinner was fantastic!  It's an Australian tradition to have seafood (or just cold food, really) for dinner on Christmas, as the holiday is the in the middle of summer here and usually very hot.  We had a full seafood buffet- prawns, calamari,  mussels, salmon- it was a fish lover's dream!  We also had traditional Christmas pudding for dessert (which is basically cake and a warm custard- really rich, and delicious!).

I had a great time celebrating with Phil's family!  I'm starting to feel more comfortable around Phil's family and it's easy to talk to everyone and spend time with them.  Everyone kept apologizing for the weather, though; it was pouring rain all day, which is very rare for an Aussie Christmas.  I told everyone I was fine with it- while I had been looking forward to saying that I got to go swimming on Christmas, I was also used to it being cold and wet on Christmas Day.  After dinner, we played Secret Santa, and I ended up winning a cocktail mixer, which I was pretty pleased with ;)

Then we went home, and I called my cousins, Ann and Dorothy, and chatted with them for a bit, which was nice.  Phil and I ended the night watching Elf :)  All in all, it was a really great Christmas.  I thought it might be hard to be away from my family that day, but I think being able to call my cousins helped.  And I couldn't help but be happy that Phil and I were finally spending Christmas together, instead of being on separate continents.

Phil and I checking out the fireworks on New Years Eve!

Of course, last week was New Years Eve!  Phil had to work during the day, but after he got off work, we met up in the city to watch the fireworks together.  There was over 2 million people in downtown Sydney that night.  All of the streets were closed, and I told Phil that it felt like I was in a disaster movie or something, because people were running around screaming on empty streets and cops were on horses...it was just weird and something I'd never experienced before.  We ended up going across the Harbour Bridge and to a smaller park right beneath it where we had the perfect view of the Opera House and the harbour.  When the fireworks went off, we were right beneath them and it was absolutely amazing.  I mean, I'm not even the kind of person that gets super impressed by fireworks, but these ones were truly spectacular   Especially from where we were standing!

Getting home took quite some time, though.  There were so many people trying to crowd onto the trains and once we got back to our suburb, there weren't any taxis around.  We didn't get home until 3:30 in the morning, but we both had New Years Day off, so we just spent the day lounging in bed and watching movies, and then we had pizza for dinner :)

Check out the Fireworks!  Amazing! :)

Unfortunately, that'll probably be the last slice of pizza I have for a while.  I'm back on the diet I lost weight on last year; since I've been here, I've gained about ten pounds (ughhhhh) so one of my resolutions is to lose the weight I've gained as well as the rest of the weight I was planning to lose in the first place.

Last year I made quite an ambitious resolution list on Facebook, and I'm proud to say that I did achieve almost all of my goals!  This year, I'm not going to make a list, because I feel like the things I need to do are pretty clear, and something I think about quite often.

I need to keep saving money for my Visa.  Thanks to working so much, I've already saved over $2000 just on my own, and Phil has been putting money into our savings account too :)  I also would like to figure out what I'm going to do with my life now that I'm here.  I'd like to go back to school, so I'm going to figure out the best way to do that in Sydney, and what I'll need to do to transfer my credits and all that jazz.  Phil and I are planning to move to an apartment closer to the city, so that's our main goal.  And we also want to go to Reno/Sacramento for a visit this year :)

I think 2013 will be a great year for us, and for me, personally.  I'm definitely feeling more like myself again.   After I posted my last blog, my friend, Jessica Levity, said something that really struck me- to find a "purpose" for my loneliness- which I've really focused on doing since then.  I think being back on my diet and going out for exercise every day will help.  I've also just realized that there's no point in sitting at home every day because I don't have friends yet.  I've ventured out on my own more in the past week than I have since I've been here.  I went and saw a movie alone today.  I've gone out shopping, and swimming, and have basically told myself that I don't need other people to stay entertained.

It is weird, not to have a group of friends or people to hang out with (other than Phil, of course); anyone that knows me knows that I'm such a social person and I've always had friends in my life.  I'm making it my resolution to put myself out there and meet more people as well, so hopefully I won't still be going to the movies alone in a few months.  But for now, I'm just trying to embrace these days that I'm alone and enjoy quality time with myself.  It's been oddly therapeutic  and I think, part of the reason I'm in a better place now than I've been the past few months.

I'm looking forward to whatever the new year brings, be it an extended visa, a clearer plan for my future, new friends, a visit back home, or an engagement ring ;)   No matter what happens, I still plan to share it all here :)  Thanks to everyone who helped make 2012 a memorable year for me...here's to 2013 being even better! <3