Finally An Update! :)

It's been forever, I know.  I am hopeless at updating things and keeping up with stuff.  Maybe I'll make it my resolution to be more consistent.

I do have a three-fold explanation for my silence, however.

Part of it has been a very good thing- I've finally been working!  I'm sure most of you have heard about my "new" job by now.  A few days after my last post, actually, the job Phil was trying to get me came through and I started working at a department store called Harvey Norman. 

I love being able to work again.  I'm working as a cashier, which is something I've never exactly done before, and it's pretty fun.  On weekends, I've also been doing Santa Photos- so, basically, trying to get crying kids to realize Santa isn't scary and take a picture with him for their parents.  That's been fun too, but I'm glad it's almost over.  Part of my job is to also work in the photo lab of our store.  There's always something to do, which makes the day go by fast, though I will admit that my new job is easier than my old job at In-N-Out, maybe just for the simple fact that we have chairs and can sit down at Harvey Norman ;)  I also make twice as much as I did in Reno, so I've been able to save a lot of money for my Visa, which has been REALLY great!

It's also been awesome getting to meet new people.  I like all of my coworkers- everyone has been really warm and welcoming.  It's been nice just having social interaction again.  I'm such a social person, so it's been really hard (maybe harder for me than other people), to be somewhere that I can't talk to different people every day, so I'm happy that work has given me that outlet again.   Hopefully I'll start making friends that I can hang out with soon, because I definitely miss that aspect of my old life, too.

That leads me to the second part of my absence- I've honestly been quite depressed.  I'm sure a lot of you are thinking, "You're in Australia, with the love of your life- how can you be depressed?!"  All of that is true, and great, but at the same time, homesickness has really hit me hard these past few months. 

I really miss my friends and my family back home.  It's hard not seeing my friends every day and even harder when I don't really hear from some people that often.  Communication definitely goes both ways, but it has been disappointing to be the one making all the effort in some of my relationships, and constantly getting excuses back from the other person about being too busy.  I understand that everyone else's life went on after I moved. I guess it's just hard for me because I feel like my life hasn't really gone on yet.

I miss my cousins a lot, particularly my cousin, Ann.  When my grandma got sick last fall, we started a nightly tradition of calling each other on the phone every single night and we did that until the day I moved.  I miss our 11pm phone calls so much.  Thankfully, I do have a phone with long distance, so I'm able to call her and the other people I miss, but it's a lot more expensive than it was when I lived in Reno ;)

The fact that it's the holiday season hasn't made my homesickness any easier, either.  Obviously, Thanksgiving isn't a holiday in Australia, but it's my favorite holiday in the States, and it passed by here without any turkey, stuffing, candied yams, family or friends.  I was planning to cook a dinner for Phil, his mom and myself, but I ended up working that day.  Maybe next year.  Or maybe we'll pick Thanksgiving to travel back to Reno next year :)

Christmas without my friends and family will also be hard, but I think I'll be happier being able to spend it with Phil this year.  Last year, I remember being pretty heartbroken since Phil came to visit right before Christmas, but we didn't actually get to spend the day together.  So we're definitely looking forward to exchanging presents and having our first real Christmas together.

Finally, the last part of why I've been absent, is because my laptop pretty much broke down.  But I bought an Android tablet a few weeks ago, so that excuse shall hold up no longer :)

Anyway, despite feeling so depressed lately, I think I'm back to feeling optimistic again. Starting my life over has been a lot harder than I thought it would be, but I'm looking at the bright side of it.  I basically have a chance to start a new life from scratch- I can make my life whatever I want it to be from now on, and that's certainly a good thing.  I think before I got here, I only thought about my relationship with Phil, and how that part of my life would improve.  Now I realize, I didn't really think that much about my personal life and how I'd need to figure that all out again.  I think the New Year will be a good time for me to start making goals for myself and some decisions about my future.  I know that life is truly what you make it.  So it's time to decide what I want to make of my life.

At least the work aspect of my life has been figured out now, so that's a relief.  My relationship with Phil has continued to grow- we've definitely had some rough spots, but we've worked through them together and moved on.  At the end of the day, we love each other and there's no one else I'd rather spend my life with.  I know all the rest of the pieces will fall into place. It's still been hard adjusting to my new family, with Lucas, and Phil's mom, but I know that relationships take time and effort, so I'm trying to be patient and loving, in both situations. Eventually, I'll make more friends and start having a social life again.   Everything will fall into place, eventually, and I'll look back at this time and think of it as just another tough time that I made it through.

I've always been the kind of person who wants instant results with everything, but one thing I seem to keep having to learn this year, is that I need to be patient and just wait.  I can't make everything happen in life- sometimes, I just need to wait for things to happen, and in the meantime, just keep living my life the best I can.  It's always easier said than done, but I have faith that things will work out for the best.  I've come too far to just give up now :)